[ENG] Suggerimenti cercasi per cover letter (x lavoro)

[Yauchie]

Ho abbozzato una cover letter da presentare assieme al CV nella ricerca di un lavoro. Come vi sembra? Se notate qualche errore grammaticale o aveste qualunque altro suggerimento ve ne sarei molto grato.
Ho appena finito di sistemare tutto a casa e quindi domani inizia la grande ricerca (oddio, grande, spero di trovare in qualche giorno )



From the ____________ I learned about your need for web developers in North West London. Your advertisement for the above position has interested me very much and I would like to apply.
As you will see from my CV, I have worked for some I.T. companies as Web Developer and System Administrator and now I am looking for a job in London since I moved to this wonderful city just ~a week ago, to improve my still poor English (especially my speaking skills, even if I already speak some English) and to live the challenge of a new life experience in a foreign country. In my previous position I was responsible for developing all the web-based software used by my clients for their activities (e-commerce systems, Intranets and much more). I have worked both alone and in team (also as leader –project manager- for little teams up to 3 people) and have been able to identify and to solve problems before they affected any deadline.
Over the last ~5 years I have implemented solutions based on both new software (nearly all web based, developed by myself) and also exiting ones. This meant creating new procedures and in some cases rewriting or upgrading many of the company's procedures.
Thanks to my background and my proven ability to plan, develop and maintain web applications of any type with the highest quality standards whilst also minimising costs and optimizing demand time, I feel that I would be able to make a significant contribution to your company's team. I love to have fun but also to be challenged by the work I do. I’m “performance driven” and always fired up when encouraged to succeed. I do appreciate timely and honest feedback, and I want to grow and to upgrade my skills in order to succeed.
In my CV you will find more fully details about my qualifications for the position and my previous working experiences. I look forward to receiving your reply and to talking with you regarding the opportunities to join your team and to answer any questions you may have.
Thank you in advance for then consideration I hope you will like to reserve for me.
Yours sincerely,

[Espinado]

elimina tutta la parte sul fatto che nn sai l'inglese, è come darti la zappa sui piedi.

[Espinado]

in generale abusi un po' della paratassi, fai frasi più brevi.

[pippo76]

Originariamente inviato da Espinado
elimina tutta la parte sul fatto che nn sai l'inglese, è come darti la zappa sui piedi.

concordo pienamente!!
e fai frasi piu brevi e meno italiane!

[Yauchie]

Però magari mi fate qualche esempio!

che è la paratassi? non voglio cercare

[Yauchie]

OT Giovanna quando mi vieni a trovare? Caledonia Station, 1 min wlk 94 Roman Way. Ti aspetto